When The Door Slams
For I do not do the good that I want to do, but I practice the evil that I do not want to do. Now if I do what I do not want, I am no longer the one doing it, but it is the sin that lives in me. So I discover this principle: When I want to do what is good, evil is with me. For in my inner self I joyfully agree with God's law. But I see a different law in the parts of my body, waging war against the law of my mind and taking me prisoner to the law of sin in the parts of my body. What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this dying body? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord! So then, with my mind I myself am a slave to the law of God, but with my flesh, to the law of sin. Romans 7:19-25 HCSB
All of the "roaring and groaning" of my spiritual desire to overcome evil in my heart--this reached your ears [O Lord]...Now I see that I was searching for the answer outwardly--trying to reason with my mind the best way to escape temptation--when the freeing knowledge I sought could only come by the Holy Spirit as it brings inner light. As long as I kept struggling in this way, I was unable to return to the place where my soul might receive fullness and well-being and rest and joy.
But you, O Lord, who abides forever--you are not angry with us in our fumbling blindness. You are so merciful to "dust." It was pleasing to you to reshape the deformity that was causing my blindness. You kept stirring me with the sense that I was missing some secret goodness that is in you. O Lord, you kept me in a state of restlessness. Finally, I saw, inwardly, the truth about the origin of evil!
I saw how superior I felt, in my striving for spiritual well-being and sufficiency--but in all this striving I was still totally inferior to you. I had been so blind to what I was doing, because pride is like a spiritual wound to the face, swelling shut the inner eyes of understanding. And through this swollenness of pride and disobedient, I was fumbling in the darkness of my mind separated from you. But your healing hand applied to my eyes a stinging ointment that caused repentance and my pride and self-sufficiency to subside.
I was given a true understanding for my sinful condition. And at the same moment I saw myself in this way, I looked upon you and your mercy for me...From that day to this, I have kept this stinging ointment for my sins--the pain that causes me to run to you for the healing of my soul, and not away from you but in my pride, mistakenly thinking that I can somehow prove my worthiness. For I see now that this pride--self-sufficiency before you--is the source of the evil within my mind.
Affirmation: The LORD is my shepherd; there is nothing I lack. He lets me lie down in green pasture; He leads me beside quiet waters. He renews my life; He leads me along the right paths for His name's sake. Even when I go through the darkest valley, I fear no evil, for You are with me; Your rod and Your staff--they comfort me (Psalm 23:1-4 HCSB).
Ask the Holy Spirit to search your heart and reveal any areas of unconfessed sin. Acknowledge these to the LORD and thank Him for His forgiveness.
Never Rest Ministries