When the door in your life slams:
Whoever has no rule over his own spirit
Is like a city broken down, without walls.
Proverbs 25:28
One of the tasks of healthy maturing involves setting appropriate boundaries. The codependent typically experiences a serious lack in the ability to set appropriate boundaries. Boundaries allow a person to set limits so that they do not feel walked on. Boundaries allow an individual to choose what to do or not do.
A friend struggled with boundaries. She could not choose what she wanted to do apart from what others wanted her to do, She couldn't say no. She felt power-less and resented the control others had over her.
If someone is manipulating or controlling you and you do not take control of yourself and your decisions, then you are like a city with broken-down walls. Such a city would be easy prey for another nation to besiege and control. Similarly, if you do not set boundaries, you can be easily taken over by others.
When that begins to happen, there is the tendency to lose control of your emotions and develop irrational thinking. Often there is the likelihood of distorting reality. Proverbs 28:1 speaks of one who flees "when no one pursues." Fleeing or running away can happen by escaping will all kinds of addictive behaviors such as alcohol, drugs, sex, or workaholic. But we do not need to run away. The righteous can be courageous and bold as a lion.
Prayer: Lord Jesus gives us the courage to set boundaries in order to help us see our limits, and to help us protect ourselves from others.
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