When The Door Slams
If you turn at my reproof, behold, I will pour out my spirit to you; I will make my words known to you. Because I have called and you refused to listen, have stretched out my hand and no one has heeded, because you have ignored all my counsel and would have none of my reproof, I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when terror strikes you, when terror strikes you like a storm and your calamity comes like a whirlwind, when distress and anguish come upon you. (Proverbs 1:23-27 ESV)
"A rebuke goes deeper into a man of understanding than a hundred blows into a fools" (Proverbs 17:10). Solomon warned his errant son about this: "My son, do not despise the LORD's discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the LORD reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights" (3:11-12).
"If you turn at my reproof, behold, I will pour out my spirit to you; I will make my words known to you" (Proverbs 1:23). Wisdom promises to pour out her spirit on us if we respond to her reproof. Seen through the lens of the New Testament, this wisdom is none other than the Holy Spirit, poured out by Jesus Christ when we reproof (Acts 2:38-39).
Responding well to reproof illuminates the path of life (Proverbs 6:23; 10:17). It brings honor (13:18), prudence (15:5), knowledge (19:25), and wisdom (29:15). We all know this is true, but that doesn't make it any easier to hear real truths. Nonetheless, teachable people tend to surpass their peers.
Proverbs 15:32 warns, "Whoever ignores instruction despises himself, but he who listens to reproof gains intelligence." This word for "intelligence" is not cognitive knowledge. It's usually translated as "heart." Heeding rebuke develops the right heart in us. Rejecting rebuke puts barriers and creates animosity toward the person who's trying to help us: "Whoever corrects a scoffer gets himself abuse, and he who reproves a wicked man incurs injury. Do not reprove a scoffer, or he will hate you; reprove a wise man, and he will love you" (Proverbs 9:7-8).
Fools spurn the person trying to help them. We have a modern proverb: "Don't bite the hand that feeds you." Anyone who risks rejection to help us improve should receive our praise, not our incisors. For "better is open rebuke than hidden love" (Proverbs 27:5). Or as Solomon said in his sunset years, "It is better for a man to hear the rebuke of the wise than to hear the song of fools" (Ecclesiastes 7:5). Solomon's father, David, sang a song about this: "Let a righteous man strike me--it is kindness; let him rebuke me--it is oil for my head; let my head not refuse it "(Psalm 141:5).
Wisdom reserves what is perhaps her harshest rebuke for the fool who refuses to listen: "because I have called and you refused to listen, have stretched out my hand and no one has heeded, because you have ignored all my counsel and would have none of my reproof, I also will laugh at your calamity; I will mock when terror strikes you" (Proverbs 1:24-26). To put it another way, "He who hates reproof is stupid" (12:1).
Jesus commands us to rebuke an erring brother (Luke 17:13). Paul followed suit with protege Timothy: "As for those who persist in sin, rebuke them in the presence of all, so the rest may stand in fear" (1 Timothy 5:20). This is an essential for anyone who teaches Scripture (2 Timothy 3:16; 4:2; Titus 1:9, 13; 2:25). One can't correctly teach the Bible without including rebuke.
Think about this: There is no love without rebuke. The problem is, many of us love to be liked. Yet you can't truly love someone if you won't rebuke them. In fact, rebuke is not optional. What is most telling is who Jesus rebuked. The disciples were his primary target (Mark 16:14; Luke 9:55). For sure, he criticized the Pharisees, Sadducees, and teachers of the law. But the word rebuke is reserved for Jesus's closest followers. He reflects his Father in heaven, who tends to reserve his rebuke for those he put in positions of power (2 Samuel 7:13-14; Psalms 6:1; 38:1; 105:14). This sets precedent for whom we should rebuke. Don't rebuke strangers. Reserve your rebuke for those you have invested in.
We often put off a rebuke because we wonder if it is worth the risk. However, ask yourself, "If they repeated this behavior a thousand times, would I say something?" If you say nothing, they probably will repeat that behavior a thousand times. Your rebuke is not simply for past behavior but for future sins.
Meditation In Action: 1. How would you rate yourself on both giving and receiving constructive criticism on a scale of 1-10? 2. How do you tend to respond to reproof: immediately, after an hour, after two or three days? What mental or emotional process do you go through? 3. How can we discern between loving reproof and a critical spirit? 4. What is the most important change you need to make the next time you are reproof?
Meditate on: 1 Timothy 5:20; Hebrews 12:5-6; Revelation 3:19.
Ask the Holy Spirit to search your heart and reveal any areas of unconfessed sin. Acknowledge these to the LORD and thank Him for His forgiveness.
Never Rest Ministries
wisdom
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